If you’re dealing with domestic abuse, getting a restraining order can be a crucial step toward safety. This legal protection can keep an abuser away from you, your children and your home. Building a strong case for a restraining order means carefully documenting the abuse you’ve suffered.
Why you might need a restraining order
Sometimes, even though it might feel dangerous, getting a restraining order is necessary. Filing a restraining order can stop an abuser from contacting you, coming near you or even owning a gun.
It’s important to be very careful when gathering evidence or filling the form. You don’t want to do anything that could make your partner angry or put you in more danger. Your safety is the top priority. If you feel unsafe, focus on getting to a safe place first.
How to document abuse
Documenting abuse involves collecting any evidence that shows what has been happening. Usually, in California, the court will ask about the most recent abuse and evidence of it, so try to remember all the facts so you can write them up in the form. Here are some ways to document abuse:
- Take photos: If you have any injuries, take pictures of them from different angles. Include your face in some photos to show it’s you. Also, photograph any damaged property or torn clothing.
- Save messages: Keep copies of text messages, voicemails, social media posts and emails where the abuse is happening. Make sure to capture the dates, times, and contact information. Screenshots or photos of the entire content are a good idea in case the abuser deletes them.
- Get medical records: Obtain copies of your medical records, doctor’s reports and discharge papers that document your injuries. These can be very important in court.
- Obtain police reports: Get copies of any police reports related to the abuse. These reports are often very persuasive in court.
- Keep regular mail: Save any letters or packages, especially if they show signs of damage or violence.
- Ask witnesses to speak up: If friends, family or neighbors have seen or heard the abuse, ask them if they’re willing to give a statement. While it’s best if they can appear in court, a written statement can still help.
Given the seriousness of domestic abuse situations, it’s often necessary to speak with an attorney. An attorney can provide advice on how to safely document the abuse, keep the evidence, file the form for you, receive the court papers and present your case in court.
Remember, you’re not alone, and safety is possible. By documenting the abuse and seeking legal protection, you can take control of your situation and create a safer future for yourself and your family. If you are in immediate danger, call 911 or seek help from a local domestic violence shelter. There are people who care and want to help you get safe.